Women Who Have It All

“Whether women are better than men, I cannot say – but I can say they are certainly no worse.” – Golda Meir

The first observance of Women’s Day was in 1909 in New York, but it was not until 1975 that the United Nations celebrated International Women's Day on 8 March and it became widely celebrated after 1977. Since then, there has been a lot more awareness and focus on ensuring gender equality and non-discrimination against women. However, to think that women had been weak and oppressed before the 1900s is certainly erroneous. In fact, ancient history records several strong women, who are well-known to this day, such as Cleopatra, Empress Dowager and Catherine the Great. Throughout the years, women’s rights have had their ups and downs. Progress has been made for women’s rights, and there have also been steps backwards at different times. 

Regardless, today we are at a point where many women have the choice to decide what they want for themselves and how they want to be. Two years ago, an article entitled “Why Woman Still Can’t Have It All” was published, which discussed how difficult it was for women to juggle high-flying careers and family. In celebration of International Women’s Day, I want to honour the women who certainly have it all.

If you asked anyone if they ‘have it all’, the initial response would most likely be in the form of a question – what do you mean by ‘having it all’? Indeed, it is a very subjective and personal question that cannot really be defined. Often it is assumed that to have it all means to have ‘career, family, money’. But it is a rather shallow view of what people value in life. A stay-at-home mum could think she has it all, just as a stay-at-home dad might feel the same. On the other hand, someone with career, family and money could feel that she (or he) still does not ‘have it all’.

We had the opportunity to interview some amazing women, who had different backgrounds, and in general, very different lives. Yet, one common thread was that they knew what they wanted and they were happy with their decisions. They were also excellent multi-taskers. In fact, for all of the interviews, the question I was most inclined to ask them was how they managed to achieve so much every single day. It forced me to take a look at how I was spending my time, and as I did more research around the topic of productivity, I came across this insight:

“The skill of using your time efficiently is among the most crucial ones you can master.”

And that is indeed a skill that many successful women possess. There has been much said about how men and women are different, the “Mars versus Venus” argument, and it is true that there are certain inherent traits and behaviours that women tend to be more inclined towards. But they are also the same qualities that create amazing women, traits such as empathy, the ability to nurture and develop, patience, thoughtfulness …. Yet that is not to say that successful women achieve what they do easily. How do women who ‘have it all’ do it?

1. They know what they want. 

For every woman, what success looks like may be different for each of them. Women who have it all do not let societal norms affect what they want. They are clear about their goals, and are often very specific about them too. They always have a plan, although this does not mean that the plans they make are set in stone. Successful women are discerning and intuitive (thanks to women’s intuition) and are not afraid to admit failure. The key is they learn from any mistakes and adjust their plans and goals so they get to their ultimate destinations.

2. They create opportunities for themselves.

"Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. " — Kyle Chandler

There is nothing really impressive about winning the lottery, unless the lottery winner goes on to create something valuable with her winnings. If you think of the women you admire, I am pretty sure that none of them go around lamenting about how something did not work, or blaming somebody else. They take responsibility, and find opportunities for themselves. They do not make excuses, but make the best of what they have to get what they want.

3. They take care of themselves.

Everyone needs time to themselves to reflect, and simply relax and unwind. Women who have it all often carve out some time, even if it’s just a short amount of time each week, to do some self-care, whether it’s a visit to the gym, reading a book, or pursuing a hobby. Just spending time away from work, family or whatever commitments consume them can have a positive effect in making them even more focused on their goals.

4. They are clear about their priorities.

No one can do it all. Those who are clear about their priorities will be able to achieve more than someone who tries to do everything but ends up ineffective. There will always be distractions, and different ‘urgent’ things pulling someone in different directions. Being clear about their priorities and only spending time on things that are worth their time is a common trait amongst women who have it all.

5. They make choices, sometimes difficult ones, if they have to.

There will always be choices that need to be made. A working mother might have to choose between staying late for a meeting or going to her son’s football game. A new manager might have to make the difficult decision to fire one of her team members who is also her good friend. Whatever the options and decisions, women who have it all are not afraid to make difficult decisions and own them.

“A woman is like a teabag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

No two women are alike, but those who are successful always project a positive image of themselves. Sure, they may dress different, look different and have completely different personalities, Some may seek love, but not necessarily marriage or a family. Just as for some, they yearn to be free to travel the world and not be tied by riches or status, whereas others may seek to climb the corporate ladder. Regardless, women who have it all define for themselves what they want, work for it and keep going.